Have you ever….

(or listen here)

… floated through the world just wanting to hug everyone and listen to them and share with them? And say sorry for the ways you may have been an asshole? And make music together? And then hug them again?

… swum out into lake Michigan on a sparklingly sunny summer day and floated on your back in that thin little layer of habitably not freezing water on top and let the little mini lake waves rock you back and forth as your loose hair tickled your shoulder blades and you closed your eyes and stretched your arms wide? 

… sat at a kitchen table in the middle of a city in the middle of your heart and listened to the soundtrack from Spirited Away and felt tears well up to the tune of your love for the people you have met during this whole year in a country you were 2.5 months from being born in? 

… procrastinated buying a plane ticket to buy time for excuses to stay in a place that has marked an epic/epoch transformation in your life, caused stretch marks in your conception of self, marked your heart? 


6 Comments Add yours

  1. griffitht@comcast.net says:

    The answer for me is “I have never” but how could I have as those are your memories/feelings about places been and feelings felt. Wonderfully expressed I would add. You certainly write in a poetic style that the experience you have just lived through in Chile has been a life altering one…. I have found all the recent torrent of blog postings interesting and each unique in its modus of delivery. I know I’m supposed to enter my comments as part of the blog but I can’t imagine anyone other than you really cares what I have to say. I’m simply happy to be getting your thoughts and have found the journey of self discovery honest and eye-opening. And my goodness when it rains it truly does pour. I contacted you very near the end of the drought. Does this mean school is over and the next phase is a visit from your USof A family? And then stateside bound? If you can bring yourself to buy that ticket? Hope to see the Bug fly here some day and you will collect multiple hugs I promise….love from Vermont


    1. Yeah, you may have been the little nudge I needed. And then strikes started, and I didn’t have class, hardly. So lots more relatively more free time has helped. Plus, I had feelings. And it had been too long. And things were starting to build up and weigh on me and want to escape.
      I can’t wait to see you all in the fall! You can count on me for Thanksgiving if you’d like 🙂 Much love Valparaíso –> VT


  2. mos-health says:

    I haven’t done all that you describe but enough to grasp what you are trying to say and again to appreciate all that you have shared of this life changing experience of Chile and South America and its many beautiful people and places and cultures and its two rich languages (as well as other lesser known ones) and to share your gratitude for the gifts of this past year and to bid you safe travel.


    1. Thanks, Michael! I suppose they were more of hypothetical questions, anyways. I think it as more of an opening of possibilities of human experience, opportunities that this experience has taught me seek out, identify when they’re already there, and grab ahold of and hang on to. Perhaps you could see the question “Have you ever done ___ [blank thing]___” as “What is something that you have felt deeply? What is something you’ve cared about profoundly?” and then give you the opportunity to give thanks for that. As you point out, gratitude is really the key, and I think the real reason i’ve been so happy here. It’s not that my life is actually in some way objectively better, it’s just that jolting me out of my normal environment made me recognize what is great about both of them, and provided a daily reminder to be grateful for the present moment. Thanks for following along!


  3. Kat says:

    A beautiful post — and here is my heart expanding across the distance to connect with yours and encompass everything in its path along the way! Can’t wait to see you next week!


    1. Oh mom, you and your almost amoeba-like heart analogies 🙂 176 hours!


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