Tonight, I dress up as Elastigirl and

go to a party of a bunch of real graduated people who work on gay rights. Yesterday, our campaign won its first victory and I turned in probably the worst Wellesley paper that I have ever written. I might not be falling in love, I can do 5 pullups, 7 on a good day, and my hair is now incredibly henna red. I have 1 dreadlock left, symbolizing 1 unit of cultural appropriation, a kind of chunky undercut, which I hope is not culturally appropriative, and hopefully soon new glasses. Wellesley is in the throes of fall colors, the sky is blue, and I am right now watching a lot of people swim laps. The world is full of possiblity, I slept 11 hours last night and 2 the night before. I have decided to take up the spiritual practice of writing “10 things I appreciate about you” cards to my friends, because they deserve it, and I have gotten too task-focused and forgotten what is wonderful about spending time with the people I love. I kind of want to cry right now, and I’m not sure why, perhaps because life is a little bit too much, but in a good way. I have stopped feeling so paralyzed about post-grad things because I think that organizing is my calling. I am reading a book on how to love by bell hooks and another one on peaceful societies by Elise Boulding. I write in my journal every night, and eat scrambled eggs with salsa almost every morning. I am learning how to be vulnerable with people, how to be there with people who battle depression and PTSD, how to give copious amounts of hugs. I am trying to learn how to be simultaneously present with myself and the beautiful humans I am with. I haven’t yet learned how to juggle. I am learning how to say no, and also when to say yes. I am trying to see myself more and more as a person and not a gender. I am trying to love you, even when it’s rough. I am trying so very hard.
Advertisements

4 Comments Add yours

  1. Soren Hauge says:

    The part about red hair and a chunky undercut somehow brought Simply Red to mind. This (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yG07WSu7Q9w) was a big hit during my senior year in college. Sombre lyrics, but the beauty of the melody and voice rise above them. You keep on rising above and immersing yourself. Good combination.

    Like

  2. Tom Griffith says:

    Your quest for self discovery is very much a work in progress and clearly producing successful outcomes. That is always wonderful to behold especially in someone we hold dearly. We here in Vermont are lookin’ forward to a ton of good huggins…

    Liked by 1 person

  3. mos-health says:

    Sounds like a healthy time of transition for a loving, thoughtful, creative young adult. Blessings on the Way!

    Like

  4. Kat Griffith says:

    Live on! Love on! Write on! And have fun at the party! Love and hugs from mom

    Like

What are your thoughts?

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s